Set Me Free
bitched @ 11:56 p.m. on 2003-05-21
You ever just feel so lonely? I don't mean friend wise. I mean lonely. As in a missing male companion. It all started after I got through watching Soroity life. Nicole and Tim have this psychotic relationship and she was getting done sooo dirty but then... He takes her to her formal and totally redeems himself! lol Okay so he didn't but for suckers like me... He did. Just what did he do you say? Welllll, he decided that he was FINALLY going to take that step forward and kiss Nicole. So he asked Brooke (Nicoles pledge sister) when/where a good time/place would be. Brooke -well actually none of the sisters or pledges like him bcuz so far this season he has proved himself an immature high schhol boy. He's like 23 with the brain of a 17 year old. But then again... Aren't they all?
But okay moving on to my point. Nicole is dancing around on the dance flor with her sisters and looks like she's having the time of her life. And I flashed back to the way things used to be for me. When I would take my crush to an important dance and we'd steal looks at each other when we went joined at the hip. The complete awkward moment between them before Tim asked her to go for a walk outside... Man it's like they both KNEW it was coming, just like I would KNOW it was coming. When I would be sitting there or standing and you just KNOW that the next motion is going to be "the kiss." What Tim had done for Nicole was he took on this small dock and told her to close her eyes and hold out both her hands. He places a long stemmed red rose in each and then *cries* then he... *sobs* He kisses her!!! *bawls* Dude, oh my god I must be about to start my period or something because I full out started bawling.
She was so damn happy after that, they kept stealing little intimate kisses (all while they are alone outside in the romantic area -despite the cameras and lights in their faces-) Then he wraps his Tux coat around her and... I screamed cuz it was complete deja vu for me. Why is it that I'm dwelling in the past and not teh future? I don't plan on meeting Mr. RIGHT as of this moment, my main concern is just Mr. Right NOW. Damn, you know what I'm saying? Shit. I miss those giggly phone calls, the way my heart would flutter when my crush would call. How happy I'd be dancing around the house afterwards. I miss the intimate kisses, the little cute PDA's. Holding hands, hugging, maybe a peck cuz I don't really dih PDA. It's annoying when I see so why be a hypocrite and do it?
I'm done with that cuz I'm depressing myself. LOL. Gah! Everytime I get close to a guy like right before I fall, I ruin it. I don't want to get hurt, I always do and look what happens? I screw it up so bad that they cheat on me. Every fucking one. UGH! Is there a fucking sign on my forehead that says, "HEY! PRETEND TO LOVE ME AND ITS OKAY TO SCREW GIRLS BEHIND MY BACK!" No. No I do NOT have one of those. It doesn't matter, cuz I don't have any type of crush or even a potential crush. There is NO ONE. I'm completely ready to call up an old friend just for the hell of it. To be able to hear a male's voice say my name and ask to come over. To hold me, fold me up in his boyish scent so I can shiver happily. I know millions of girls go through this everyday but, that doesn't make it anyless longing.
On to bigger news, my grandpa is getting on my last fucking nerve. I have to get out of this fucking house this weekend. He's hella picking on me and bickering about every mother fucking thing! These taco's are too hard, this foil is to tough, this floor needs to be mopped. You need to not clutter up that car. Blah blah blah KISS MY ASS! Gah! Get off my damn back old man! He comes into the living when I'm all comfortable on the couch after I come home from work and I'm watching whatever the hell it is that I'm watchinga nd he comes and sits down in his chair and changes the channel. Or he'll say, "I'm changing that in 5 minutes." I can understand that he's old and he gets bored and staying in his room would suck but why the fuck does he have to come out in the living room to change my programs when I come home from work? Doesn't he realize that people ger tired and frustrated when they get off work? I guess not.
I was watching Harry Potter 2 when he decided to come pop my bubble. So I watched the rest in my room. I seriously think Harry and Hermoine got a lil sumthin sumthin. I can't believe she ends up with Ron. Don't get me wrong, I LOOOOVE RON. He's like teh funniest ever. But npt with Hermoine! *pouts* And I know Draco has the hots for her, I mean c'mon she's the most attractive, smart, and perfect girl at that damn school. Oh yes Hermoine, what I wouldn't do to be in your shoes. To have Harry, Ron and Draco at my heels? Psh, show me the way baby.
I'm tired. Night.
You Know You Love Me,
~JBehrsGurl
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