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Lie To Me
bitched @ 4:38 p.m. on 2003-10-20 Okay I�m supposed to be working here whilst I�m at Cathy�s desk but c�mon now, it�s ME after all and I�m just DYING of boredom!!! Today was boring as hell, I still have no computer which means that I have shit to do but sit at my desk and fuck around until Mary comes. Mary is the lady that I�m replacing. She hates me though because she got fired and I got hired. She�s really old though, you would think she would retire by now, I feel bad though. I feel REALLY REALLY bad. Like I�m �the other woman� ya know? It�s not a fun feeling. Not at all. I might come in tomorrow but if I do I wont have shit to do and if I don�t I�ll bum around the house all day. Mary won�t be in tomorrow and my boss might not either cuz he was out sick today. I feel like such a juvenile here, everyone keeps asking me if I�m still in high school. I�m like uh, no. So when they find out I�m NOT in high school in rolls the obvious next question. �So what college do you go to?� And my reply: �I go to Sac City but it�s only one class for now because next semester I�m switching to Consumnes River�� Than afterwards I feel like an idiot, was that there goal to begin with? At lunch I went to Nina�s house cuz Marci wasn�t answering her phone and I�m a loser with no friends so I went to see my good �ol cousin Nina! It wasn�t a last resort, she�s my cousin after all, she�s like not even an option she�s just there. So anyways I go to check my mail on her computer because I�m waiting to see if that guy from Hot or Not has wrote me back yet and nope. He hasn�t. Damn. I hope he didn�t think my response to his letter was retarded, I kinda sounded like a dork. So anyways I was on Nina�s computer and her web cam is right up on my face so I say can I play with it? She turns it on and BAM! My face is on the screen! And BOY OH BOY was my face FAT as HELL! I�m so fat. I can�t believe I�ve let myself get this huge. I weighed myself on her scale �my Tia is a diet-holic, and it said� HA! Like I�d reveal the deepest darkest secret to you! Psh. Please. So anyways after I�m done fucking around with the cam by making weird faces I take two decent �what I tried to make decent, pictures of myself and then logged off. Nina still has the pics on her computer so I�m gonna have to ask her to forward those to me via email. I was wearing my nice pretty new work clothes so that�s why I want the pics. Hahaha! It�s fun dressing up for work, I feel all professional and shyt! Yea so I forgot to add that when I was walking down the stairs at lunch to get to my car I almost FELL! I was like doing a little balancing act there on the edge of the steps! Gah! It was so embarrassing, these damn shoes! They look so cute but they�re lethal! I almost bit the bit one people, but I was so embarrassed I didn�t even turn around to see the people behind me I just got the hell out of there! These Mary Jane style wannabe�s need to be nice to me before they end up in the wood chipper! Tell me lies! Tell me sweet little lies! That damn verse is stuck in my head for no reason! You ever notice that female singers say that they don�t care if the guy lies? Example! Sheryl Crow: Two songs that I know of, I Shall Believe �Even if it�s a lie/ Say it will be alright/ and I shall believe�� Psha! Okay next song by our wonder woman, Strong Enough �Lie to me/ I promise I'll believe/ Lie to me/ But please don't leave�� Ugh! I mean I love those songs but I was listening to them the other day and I was like, wtf!? C�mon girl! Oyi-vey my head-say� I want to rant and scream but there�s nothing to say about it. I wont even say it out loud, you know what it is. And you know you want to make it go away but you can�t. You get mad and say you�re sad but I have no clue if you mean it. Just like I don�t mean it anymore when I say those routine last goodbyes before you flutter out of my life. It makes me ill and sad but there�s nothing I can do, I can�t pretend its not happening. Neither can you, I know you don�t want to and I know that hella shit is taking up your time but it still hurts to feel like a petty number on the annoying list of hundreds. I don�t want to be a bitch but I get so mad it takes over, and then I end up making things worse. I�m sorry. You Know You Love Me, ~JBehrsGurl << | >> MOVED - 09-08-04 test - 08-18-04 Hola El Stupido - 06-09-04 Hola El Stupido - 06-09-04 Whoa Momma! - 05-24-04 Even OLDER... |