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So much Drama, So Little Patience...
bitched @ 9:45 a.m. on 01-26-04 I am so bored. Seriously, I�m really truly bored. I�m hungry too. I�m bored and I�m hungry. Baaaaad combination! Anyways, I wrote a lot in my original last night, but I don�t know. I don�t think I�m getting anywhere interesting with this story. I really like it but, I don�t like the way I�m writing it. It feels forced or something, like� I dunno how to explain it, it�s like I�m MAKING myself write it, just so that it�s there. I�m so weird sometimes, I think I was dropped on my head as a child� I�m changing this layout too, I�m sick and tired of it, it makes me wantto pull my hair out. I HATE it! It�s hideous, and I have no clue what I want next. I worked on a couple layouts, not the html part but the design. I like this one I made with the babies all on it but eh, I dunno yet. I think I�ll wait to use that one. Until then I have no clue what to do for now. I was thinking of Colin Farrell cuz he�s one hot ass muther but then I got all stuck on Tom Welling when I watched Smallville last night. Geebus he�s a hottie. OHHHH and I watched Sex In The City with my mom and I so bawled. Samantha has Breast Cancer and her hair started falling out so after lot sof things going on in the show she decides to shave her head. WELLLLL� Her boy friend the hottie who�s younger than her walks in and he�s like what are you doing and she tells him he can�t understand blah blah. Welll�. He grabs the razor from her and SHAVES HIS HEAD TOO!!! Oh my god I was bawling because he�s like this famous actor and his hair was this THING! But awwww!!! He shaved his head for her!! Oh my god I could cry all over again� I think what he did was the most sweetest thing in the whole freaking world. Seriously, I can�t stop thinking about it. It�s the kind of thing that makes us ladies with guys like that were real. And if they are� Than they�re either taken or gay. It�s not fair, not by a long shot but who said life�s fair? I�m mad at my cousin again, she had the nerve to say to me �You�re my cousin Elena, you should take my side whether I�m right or wrong!� Ummm� Need I remind her of a little situation I�d like to call� Losing my best friend? I mean yea it was my fault for saying mean shit and Marci had every right to be pissed but I needed my cousin there to talk to and she wouldn�t be there for me. She just kept saying I�m not in this, I�m not in this. Well now, she needs ME now and I�m supposed to drop everything and be there for HER? Like my friend so perfectly said it: Help ME, be there for ME, take MY side no matter what. But when the time comes for me to do the same for you� I won�t. Well you couldn�t have said it better. I really don�t care that she wants to still remain friends with Marci I�m way past that because she�s right. You can�t tell people who to be friends with. I was raised to have my family�s back no matter what, and if that meant losing a friend, boyfriend, someone close to me that wasn�t family than shit man. I�d have to slowly deal with it and do it. But you see she wasn�t close with this person, this was someone she used to not like. So all of the sudden she likes this person and everything that was between us was thrown away for that person. I don�t see where this is the right thing to do. I just don�t. I wasn�t raised that way. I mean sorry if I sound selfish or immature but oh well. It�s the way I feel, and I was finally over all that shit and finally decided to let her back in my life when she does something fucking stupid like this� Ummm hello? You DO NOT fucking say what she did and expect me to agree. Oh I�m sorry cousin let me be here for you like you weren�t for me. And just because they were different situations doesn�t mean shit. Mine was about a friend, hers is about a boy. Different reason same difference. So I had to block her out again. I�m fucking stressing out enough with my own life to deal with hers. I�m sick of putting everyone before me, I�m not saying that it�s all about me or that I even plan on putting me first. All I�m saying is that I�m sick of this shit, I�m so sick of letting people walk all over me. Fuck it, I�m done. I�m gonna go for now because I�m hungry and Tony hasn�t replied to my e-mail so I thik he didn�t come to work but damn what am I goingto do with no book? I�m going to look like one fat ass idiot. And I just realized that I left all my school shit at home. Gah! Now I have to race all the way home and get my shit than race back to school and pray I make it on time. Oh and I still haven�t got my perquisite. Okay so I just called and I have to go out and get a print out from the assessment center. They better not charge me or I�m charging my foot up their ass. Alright I leave you with a quote from Samantha Jones and maybe I�ll be back later. Peace. "Don't play "hard to get" with a man who's hard to get." - Samantha You Know You Love Me, ~JBehrsGurl << | >> MOVED - 09-08-04 test - 08-18-04 Hola El Stupido - 06-09-04 Hola El Stupido - 06-09-04 Whoa Momma! - 05-24-04 Even OLDER... |