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When All Else Fails, You've Still Got Your Familia
bitched @ 7:26 p.m. on 2003-11-04 Tuesday� aKa BORING day #45,236,987,521,685,436,585 get the distinction? Yea, so obviously I didn�t do much today, it was my day off also. I had to go to Cindy�s today and she didn�t get on my nerves, which was a GOOD thing because the day you want to smash your therapists face into a glass coffee table� is the day you realize that you have anger issues� Yea. Well today was a good visit, she was proud of me for how I handles things with my dad and I would have been REALLY proud of myself if I had gotten my paxil deprived ass out of bed this morning and fucking made a same day appointment to go to the doctors this morning. Fucking idiot I swear I am. I was talking to Lindsay last night and she said she was talking to Kreston, which hella made me miss Jessica and Kreston, I even began to miss Suzanne. I�ve been thinking A LOT about saving up and moving to South Carolina, living with Jess would be� Kool-aide. Seriously, who wouldn�t want to live with their best friend? I mean I was also telling Condy how I would never live with a friend or anyone I knew because they say you ALWAYS fight and you end up not being friends. I don�t think that would happen to me and Jess, I think the only thing we�d fight over would be the computer, the tv, and the radio. Haha, seriously, I mean we agree on everything except certain things and I don�t think those things are very big issues. The only thing is leaving my family behind and thinking, Do I REALLY want to pick up and leave to SC and spend the REST of my life there? The answer? NO. I don�t want to have my kids grow up there �not that there is ANYTHING wrong with that place, it�s better than Cali in so many ways but the only thing is that I�m a city girl to the end. I know I wouldn�t be able to stay there forever, eventually my roots would pull me back like a rubber band and I�d run home. I really don�t know what I want actually. All I know is that I have friends in SC and I have 0 here. I mean I have friends here but they�re no one to cry over, no one to make me think OH I can�t leave ______ behind!!! I�d miss Marci (ironically) and I�d miss my mom and my brother and my Tia and Nina and peeps but then what? I dunno what I want, it�s just like in that book I read last night for like the 3rd time, when she had to wish and she wished: I wish I knew what I want. So in the end I�m just an idiot without a clue who gets by with �wait, what the HELL do I get by with??? Oh shit, I don�t even have that to look forward to. Cindy already sriled college in my head as did Ron at work and now I don�t even know what I got helping me get by. Poop. Oh well, I got my pappy and I got my dysfunctional family and that�s all I need. Right? You Know You Love Me, ~JBehrsGurl << | >> MOVED - 09-08-04 test - 08-18-04 Hola El Stupido - 06-09-04 Hola El Stupido - 06-09-04 Whoa Momma! - 05-24-04 Even OLDER... |