. . . ENTRY |
StRiPPeD
bitched @ 2:12 a.m. on 2003-01-09 I spent my whole day after I got home from work and Grocery shopping, here on my computer designing this piece of shit! LOL It's now 2 in the morning and here I am trying to keep my eyes open long enough to update you on whats been goin on... But first I wanna talk about how pretty my layout is... LOL! I can't believe I made this shit. Hmmm... You think I can make this a perfession? HELL NAH NIGGA! HTML had me pulling out my hair and we all know that is bad... Just checked to see if anyone bumped my fics... That would be in the negative. LOL Ah well, ya win some you lose some. I swear I thought that life ws trying to get the best of me. But I over came it. I always will come out on top as long as I never give up. Man, JOanna is such a great person. This chick bumps my fics everyday. She's so nice. God am I going to hate myself tomorrow morning for staying up this late! Lets get to the sad shit so we can flip it. My pappy's sick. I love him more than Chica and that means a whooooole lot cuz no one is ubove teh love line when it comes to my cat. But he is. It makes me sad to think that he's in the hospital and is going into sergury tomorrow for his heart. I guess they have to replace his pace-maker so his heart will pump better. God this is so scarey cuz they said his Kidneys are failing. ANd once those are gone its only a matter of time ya know? God Its so hard to keep my walls up when I wanna just lay in bed and cry. "Sarabia's don't cry" my dad would say. But that fucker's no good. Why couldn't my mother pick a better father? Or better yet... Why didn't they just use protection? I was a mistake you know. Pretty fucked up how my mom would throw that in my face when I would lie to my brother by saying he was. She's say, "Chavo was planned, YOU were the mistake." Then I'd cry and go to my room. BLAH! Buts lets cut to the damn chase. Dude, I've been fucking going through SHIT. I mean I've been mood swinging and all. Its a fucked up personality I have. I get mad at people for no reason and I HATE when I do that cuz then I pull away and eveyones all "whats wrong with you?" So I lie and then I dunno. Like Jess for example. I love her more than anything DAMN even more than chica (dont tell her that tho) and well, shes right under my grandpa cuz lets face it... He's teh one keeping this roof over my head. (man where are the little happy faces when you need 'em?) Well anyways. Today I got all pissy at Jess cuz sometimes she gets in these moods wheer its like she PURPOSELY trying to ignore me and shove that she has friends in my face. I HATE HATE HATE when people are all "Oh I have to show you something, hold on I'll IM you..." And its like... Um... Okay... What am I? A sandwhich? I dunno, I think its just that I'm used to Marci always using other people to piss me off. So I automatically think that, that's what Jess is doing. But by gawd! She's like teh best and here I am complaining? I mean its not like shes gonna go and dump me for another best friend. She wouldn't do that. So why the hell do I feel like she will? I dunno who reads this shit that I write but eh...This is me, and I wont censor myself for whoever might read this. Fuck it. Charlie, This is me, Stripped. All me baby. No fake shit. Be fucking Original for once. My cousin uses that phrase and I adore it cuz shit man. Its true. I'm so confused with my life rigth now. I'm so much more independant that its scaring the shit out of me. When I was in my car accident the other day I was calm cool and collected. Then later on I was all "OMB! I could have died!" Just because my ass was on teh freeway and the lady crunched into me like 3 times. Ugh. People do NOT know how the hell to drive. BAH! Its so freaking late. I'll have to update more later on. So I'll leave you with this poem taht I wrote a while back its a sequel to "Thoughts Of A Broken Heart" I'll post that one soon. But for now... Heres the real shizzle: You held my heart And you tore it apart How I cried because of you I trusted you to be true And you straight played me for a fool But oh no� I�m not through with you So you thought you could still have me And still call You even thought you�d still go with me to the ball Yet I didn�t take you, I took your friend The one who�s place you wish you were in I played YOU �with your friend! You thought I still cared for you And I admit it I still do But I will never feel the same I guess that�s how the game of love is played You saw me with someone new While I was hanging with your crew And now you stay home All alone Why not come out and play? C�mon baby, it�s only a game You said you felt like you couldn�t be yourself around me Like it was my fault that yourself you couldn�t be Well buckle up baby its time you see: Now it hurts YOU to see the smile on MY face Now it hurts YOU to know the deep disgrace And I STILL remember your sweet kiss And I STILL remember things and often reminisce I sit here and express my true feelings That love, hurt, hope is NOW healing My heart breaks no more for you My heart is healed and brand new Single sexy and free Is the only way to be Without you bringing me down I have no reason to frown I see you baby Looking at me Wishing what we had could still be Thoughts of A Broken Heart cried for this Thoughts of A Revenged Heart� Is sealed with a kiss You know you love me, ~JBehrsGurl -Stripped
|